


You're All I Ever Needed

by yaboiLance17



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Does Jumin Han Is Gay?, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm terrible at summaries but i promise it's better, Jaehee is mentioned, M/M, This is my first work so be nice, Zen thinks he's ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 15:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11809173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaboiLance17/pseuds/yaboiLance17
Summary: No one hears from Zen in a few days so Jumin goes to check on him. But what happens when he finds the actor in a vulnerable state that Jumin didn't know existed?





	You're All I Ever Needed

It was an average day and Zen had gotten a call from a director of a play he had gotten a role in recently. He answered the phone thinking that it was simply the director wanting to meet with him to work on the role. But to his surprise it was the director calling to fire him, stating that he had found a "more attractive" actor to play the role. Zen felt a lot of things after he hung up the phone but he mostly just felt heartbroken. 

Zen had spent his whole childhood with his mother calling him ugly and belittling him so he spent his whole adult life striving to be beautiful. But now that childhood feeling was back and he hated it. He hated the way he could feel his heart sink and this feeling of depression come over him. He could hear the cruel words from his mother screaming at him in his head. Zen could feel this overwhelming feeling of panic and anxiety start to take over. 

He sunk to the floor in a corner of his small apartment and pulled his knees to his chest. He could feel tears start to run down his cheeks. He hadn't realized how numb he felt till he was brought back to reality by a sob racking his body. He wasn't a stranger to panic attacks but his way of handling them was typically frowned upon but at the moment he didn't care. He got his cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and didn't even bother going outside to smoke it. He stayed in that corner and smoked for a while, only getting up to get beer or go to the bathroom. He didn’t know how long it took but eventually he fell asleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Around 3 days passed and no one heard from Zen. Jaehee kept trying to reassure everyone that he must have gotten busy working on his new role, but everyone could tell she was worried as well. Jumin on the other hand was having a small crisis of his own. He would never admit it but he cared a great deal for the white haired actor. After not hearing from him Jumin started to get a bad feeling that he tried to ignore, but as time passed it only grew worse. Jumin knew the reason for this bad feeling which only made his situation worse. 

Since he met Zen there was something about him that Jumin was attracted to, but he refused to even entertain the idea of having feelings for the man. Jumin pushed those feeling to the back of his mind and went to great lengths to show a dislike towards Zen in hopes they would go away. But to his dismay they never did. No, the feelings only grew. He found that every time he got a reaction out of Zen that he couldn't help but smile and his heart would beat faster. When he saw Zen he would admire his beauty from afar. But when he saw Zen surrounded by women Jumin felt this burning rage inside him. Not towards Zen but towards the women. He was angry that he'd never be that close with Zen. Jumin never showed that he cared for Zen because he feared getting found out. he feared what it would do to his image and his company, but right now that wasn’t something he could worry about. Something was wrong and he'd be damned if he wasn’t going to figure out what it was. 

Jumin was in a meeting with his father and Jaehee both present when the worry finally got to him. He stood up and politely excused himself, not caring about the looks he got from both his father and Jaehee. He walked to his office and called for his driver to come pick him up. He started to get ready to leave when he was stopped by Jaehee.  
"Mr. Han where are you going? The meeting is still going."  
"I'm going to Zen's. If something that concerns me comes up notify me tomorrow."  
"Mr. Han I.." She begin to speak but was swiftly cut off by Jumin.  
"My decision is not up for debate Assistant Kang." 

Jaehee didn't attempt to argue with him on the matter and simply nodded and went back to the meeting. Jumin wasted no time after she walked out to finally leave. He walked out of the building and got into the waiting car. He told the driver where to go then sat back and waited for them to arrive. He anxiously bounced his leg as he began to worry more for the white haired actor. Jumin had a strict habit of never showing emotion but right now the mixture of emotions he was feeling was becoming overwhelming. 

It was about a half an hour later when the driver stopped in front of Zen's apartment. Jumin got out of the car and went to Zen's door and knocked. When he got no response he grew even more worried if that was even possible. He checked the door and found it unlocked which was unusual for Zen. Jumin walked in and was immediately hit with the overwhelming scent of cigarettes. He looked around and saw cigarettes and empty beer cans littering the floor and table but he didn't see Zen. He made his way further into the apartment till he got to the bedroom. He walked in and saw a similar sight as in the main room. But this time he saw Zen sitting in a corner with his knees pulled to his chest and his head laying on them. His body was shaking and it was obvious he was crying. Jumin could feel his heart break at the sight but he kept his usual neutral expression and tone as he spoke. 

"Zen?" 

Zen visibly flinched at Jumin's voice. The one person he wanted to see the least was now standing only feet away from him. The one person that he claimed he hated to hide how he felt. The one person that he could never truly hate. The one person he loved. The one person Zen thought he could never have because the man merely feet in front of Zen had proven without a doubt that he hated Zen as much as Zen said he hated him. "Jumin...Please just leave." He spoke quietly, his voice broken. 

"Zen you and I both know I'm not leaving. What's going on?" 

Zen gave a broken laugh. "Wouldn't you like to know. Did you come here in hopes to find me like this so you can use it against me? Care to take a jab at me? I wouldn't blame you. The great Jumin Han coming to see me at my worst just to feed your ego." 

Jumin would be lying if he wasn't a bit hurt by the actors words but he didn't show it. He'd never seen Zen like this, or anyone for that matter. He'd never dealt with someone in this situation. But he was going to try. For Zen. He sighed softly before speaking again. "Zen I'm not here to insult you. I'm here to make sure you're okay. Everyone was worried. I was worried." 

Zen lifted his head slowly and looked at Jumin. "Why would you of all people worry about me? You hate me." 

Zen had tears rapidly streaming down his face. He looked small and broken. The sight was something Jumin would never forget and hoped he would never have to see again because he hated it. Jumin could feel a burning rage towards whoever did this to Zen. It was at that moment that Jumin could no longer deny his feelings. He loved this man. and he would help him however he could. Jumin walked closer and ended up sitting on the floor in front of him. "I don't hate you. And I was worried because I care about you even if we have opposing views and we argue most of the time. I don't hate you." 

Zen sobbed loudly and looked to the floor. "Why?...I'm ugly..." 

Jumin was surprised at his words. Zen was always so confident and vain. Jumin never expected to hear those words leave the actors mouth. Jumin felt so angry that someone made Zen feel anything less then beautiful. In Jumin's eyes Zen was a work of art. Zen was something to be treasured. Jumin put a hand on the actors shoulder before speaking. "You are in no way ugly. What possibly could have put that thought into your head?" 

Zen looked back up at him. He could see the concern that was etched into Jumin's face. Even in a situation like this Jumin was still able to make Zen's heart race. But Zen soon processed the question and teared up as he recounted the events that lead him to this point. "When I was younger...my mom brought me up calling me ugly so that I would never realize that my looks would get me far without me having to work for it. I grew up hating myself. I ran away a long time ago and I spent my life desperately trying to be as beautiful as possible...But a couple days ago I got a call from the director of the play I had just gotten a role in....He said that...They found someone hotter and they fired me...all the hate and feelings from my childhood came back...and it won't go away Jumin." Zen barely got the whole experience out before he started sobbing again. Without thinking he threw himself at Jumin and clung to the older man. 

Jumin was angry that anyone would ever make their child feel the way Zen's mother made him feel. But he didn't have time to react before he suddenly had Zen clinging to him. He froze for a moment, processing what was happening before he wrapped his arms around the younger male. He let Zen cry on his shoulder for a while until Zen calmed a bit. Once Zen was a bit calmer Jumin spoke while still holding him. "You're not ugly Zen. You never have been and never will be. Don't let them win by making you feel this way. You're beautiful and an amazing actor." 

Zen was shocked to hear the words that he was desperate to hear come from Jumin of all people. Just yesterday it was thought that Jumin and himself hated each other. But now here they were, Jumin cradling Zen as Zen cried. No judgement. No insults. Just comfort and caring words. Zen didn't think he could love this man more than he already did but in this moment he was proven wrong because under the icey front that Jumin put up there was a caring man that it seemed that Zen was the first to ever see. Zen could feel his heart racing and as he calmed down he leaned further into Jumin and buried his face in6o the crook of his neck and breathed in the older man's scent. "Thank you Jumin." 

Jumin was relieved to feel Zen relax and he was happy to be the one to cause it. As he felt Zen lean into him he could feel his love for the younger man growing. He wanted nothing more than to keep Zen in his arms like this forever. He wanted to protect Zen and show him how beautiful he truly was. How beautiful Jumin thought he was. Jumin smiled softly as he heard him speak. He didn't speak but simply nodded. 

The two sat like that for a while. Zen had stopped crying and was just resting against Jumin. Jumin on the other hand was thinking of how much Zen meant to him and his love for the younger man. He decided that if he didn't do something right now in this moment that he'd regret it for the rest of his life. Jumin decided that he didn't care about the outcome of his choice. He gently pulled away from Zen till he was looking into Zen's beautiful red eyes. Jumin looked at them for a moment before taking Zen's cheeks into his hands and quickly pressed his lips to Zen's, hoping how he felt was communicated through the action. 

Zen was enjoying the moment when he felt Jumin pull away. He felt his heart sink thinking he messed up or that Jumin would leave and they'd never talk about this again. He worried they would go back to fighting all the time as usual. All of these worries began flooding Zen's brain but were abruptly stopped as the older man looked into his eyes. Zen stared back into Jumin's grey eyes. Zen opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when he felt lips touch his. He froze immediately as his mind started to race. Jumin was kissing him. The man he loved was kissing him. Once that idea processed Zen melted into the kiss and started to kiss back, matching Jumin's passion and intensity and letting his fingers tangle themselves into Jumin's hair. Zen could feel the love in this kiss and he felt all his anxiety and self hate leave his body and be replaced by his love for Jumin. 

Jumin could feel his heart race as he felt Zen respond to the kiss. He hadn't thought this would be the outcome but he was pleasantly surprised that it was. They kissed for a few moments before Jumin pulled away, their face still just mere inches apart. He looked into Zen's eyes again and gave the younger man a loving smile. 

Zen stared back into his eyes and pressed his forehead to Jumin's. He smiled back at Jumin before speaking. "I love you Jumin. I have for a long time." 

Jumin smile widened at the words and he pressed a quick kiss to the younger's lips. "I've loved you for a long time too. I tried to hide it but I'm done trying. I want to be able to be there for you. I want to show you how beautiful you are." 

Zen smiled brighter if that was even possible. He didn’t respond but instead simply kissed him again. It was then that Zen figured that life couldn't be too bad because now he had Jumin and Jumin was all he'd ever need.

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooo!! i really hope you enjoyed this. If you want more let me know. This is my first work so please feel free to give me some feedback. I Love all of you for reading! <3
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: So my sis Faye Adder has requested a second chapter to show the reactions of the other RFA members when they find about about Jumin and Zen. So in honor of her there will be a chapter 2!


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